Thursday, May 29, 2008

Day 54: So close!

Oh my! I forgot to write yesterday about a big big thing!!! After finishing postures in posture clinics, a new ‘evolution’ was introduced: Mock Class. In it, we assemble similar to a regular posture clinic, but now had to do 3 postures together, both sides, in a row! I went, and got assigned Half Moon, Awkward & Eagle! And, I did it! I would say dialogue was between 65% and (in Eagle) 90%! So, considering I hadn’t looked at them since Week 3 or whatever, other than a read-through here and there, I was pleased. And I was more confident than I ever had been in any posture clinic, and felt really good that I got everyone in and out, used dialogue (if not all of it, it was dialogue!), and nobody got hurt! I think the best part is I walked away feeling like “oh, ok, I can do this!” and before this, I didn’t have that knowledge or confidence. I have a long way to go…but I’m super excited now.

And, for the first time, I got more than a little miffed at the rules. Well, that’s a fib – I have been plenty miffed – but this was the first injustice that really set me off inside! We were told everyone had to do the postures for the Mock Class – do you get me? That means yoga in the morning at 8:30-10:00 a.m., then yoga from 2:00-4:15p.m. in a cold room, then yoga again (with Bikram) from 5:00 – 6:30. It just made me feel super anxious, about today especially. But while I did choose to vent a little, I minimized my reaction to the best of my ability – and I’m glad, because it ended up being no big deal. (A good lesson in minimizing reaction.) Today, in the mock class, we ended up doing almost an entire class worth of yoga (one set), but I lived. And it was for our fellow group members, and it was the right thing. And you know what else? 5:00 class was just fine to boot.

After we finished, Luke, one of the senior staffers, talked to us for a while about the end of training, and the importance of staying with it. He talked about how he has a pattern of not finishing things, which resonated with me bigtime! Things like art, projects, books – I struggle. And this is something; he encouraged us to consider to finish with vigor. He also talked about not making fun of teaching, or the yoga, as a way to distance ourselves from feelings, and hide behind humor in order to push away what could be great growth opportunities. He said, “Open yourself up to that discomfort and explore a new place.”

He also spoke about how when you practice you open up an energy conduit with each posture that grows and grows and when you lose your intent and focus, you drop the energy down and narrow that conduit, and if it continues in that vein by the time you get to savasana you’ve got nothing left. Comparing this to the training, we’re in the home stretch, and I’ve worked this hard and this long to keep the energy growing and I am committing to working hard to not letting it come down now, at this point in the game! The last point he made that I really liked was this: Bhakti Yoga (service) is about surrender, submitting and understanding those things allows you to know the big “S” – self.

Later he spoke to the whole group and told us how he had been a drug addict, and Bikram Yoga is where is spent detoxing and stopped using. It was - like so many stories here - very inspirational.

Bikram talked about the mind and its 5 parts - Faith, Self-Control (Morality), Will-Power, Concentration and Patience. He said how no one comes to the Earth with all five in perfect order, and we all have some in a better state than others - so we are to work on those that are not full realized. He was very engaged in this take, and it was very compassionate and interesting. Next up is the Body - and its three parts (are you ready...): Strength, Flexibility and Balance. Same thing applies - no one shows up with all 3! That's for damn sure :)

Above: My garden spot; Me and pal/fellow #14'er Marshall - class #81; instructor Luke; Class #82; and Bikram's lecture.


Julia said...

It is the amazing Jenn!!!

in the home stretch now for sure.

Looking forward to seeing you!

lily said...

yeah, that story was kind of intense actually...