Day 46: What is God?

I'm going to go backwards today. The day ended with a really nice lecture from Bikram on "What is God?" He was in a great mood, really compassionate and loving today. He just got back from his friend Bishu's funeral in India. Sadly, I had to spend a bit of time in the, ahem, toilet, due to having the runs, but I was there for the bulk of his talk. His main point was this: Don't ever hurt another soul. And, if you do, you will pay the consequences with interest. He told stories of a woman who stole $25K from him that was intended to build his first yoga school in 1973; within two months, both her only child and her husband died before their times. He said he pleaded with God, "that's enough! two lives for $25K??? that's enough!" - but it was her karma. Bikram's theme was the point that God is in you, and your soul - when you lie, cheat, steal or hurt another (or, even plan to whether or not you carry it out) you hurt your own soul. It knows.

This tied into a lot of the forgiveness I've worked on while I've been here. Which, btw, has been progressing nicely, thank you very much...but it makes me look back at my part in these transgressions. And, in some cases, I can see - I screwed up to the tune of let's say $25, and I paid for it with $2,500. It makes me realize that in many ways, the people involved in these things are irrelevant - it's more about our experience of paying up, if you will, for our own wrongs. And from that, hopefully we (I) learn not to do that again, period. Whatever it is - whatever wrongs one does - you pay 100x or 1000x a price, and that lesson is burned in your mind. So, it was a really nice talk, and for me, it lifted another layer of forgiveness as well as adding a layer of self-responsibility (which I had in a sense, but not with this kind of awareness or clarity).

Bikram also taught a rockin', up-beat, happy 5 p.m. class. I was up front but evaded any notice. It was also my first class done with my butt cheeks clenched the whole time (again, the runs) - now that is fun! Everyone should try it! Talk about good times - imagine the joy I felt in Wind-Removing pose! ;) Really, I did fine. I would just be so pissed if I had to leave the room - at this point when I've come this far - ouch. But, perhaps that is my path. I'm just letting it be. In this case, I did not.

Oh! And, I reqlinquished my Tower of Shame, the orange water jug. Now, I respect Mary's advice on water, but doing this two times/day with the runs, now is not the time for no water class (I did do one earlier in training though! I know I can!). But, I just brought my Camel with 32 oz. of water, which I drank at appropriate times and finished at the end of class in the savasana. My neighbor did give me a handful of ice at the end which I added to the bottle. Note to self, Jenn: Don't use two whole limes in such a small container. By the end, it tasted like warm lime juice. Yums. Anyhow, great class!

The afternoon was posture clinic, we're well into Rabbit but since I wasn't feeling it, I just waited and will do it tomorrow. No biggie. I can't believe we'll be on Separate Leg with Stretching Pose tomorrow! It's really coming around. Crazy.

Morning class was good for a morning class. I can't complain but was glad when it was over (and, glad that I didn't have any issues). I still fear/get anxious about morning classes because they are harder for me than afternoon classes. In the morning during half moon, my arms are sooooo heavy, and at evening class, I almost feel like I don't have arms they are so light! It is what it is. Tomorrow is Thursday already! For as slow as Week 6 felt, Week 7 is flying by!

Pix: Classes #69 & 70!!!!!!!!; Check out that t-shirt, referenced in a comment on my blog, I sought out Jessica from Texas who was wearing it (how convenient!); Bikram.