Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Day 45: Am I falling apart?

Oy. Today was a mix in many ways. First, the 8 a.m. class can only be described as pure, unadulterated HELL. I haven't had a class that miserable - not just me, but it seemed everyone around me - in a long time. It was so bloody hot, and we had another teacher who seemed unable to count to 10 and had us doing Pranayama deep breathing for - count'em - 16 full minutes. By the end of that I was soaked to the bone and my shoulders were on fire. They hurt so much I had to lower my arms in Awkward, and I don't think I've done that here since perhaps the first day or two. By the middle of Half Moon, I was wondering how on God's green earth I was going to finish this class. So, I set a goal to stay on my feet, not drink too much, and do every posture. Now, they were in some cases uber-lame renditions of the posture, but I did get it done. Miserable. Miserable. Miserable.

It happens though, and it is what it is. Thankfully it's not that often, as it seems to be this way when I'm in Row 1-3, where there is little air. Though everyone seemed to have a shit practice, so perhaps it was more than that. Ok, enough on that, as we learn here, there is no point at all in trying to understand these things!

When we left class this morning - IT WAS RAINING! We haven't had a non-sunny day since we arrived. Crazy! Everyone was delighted by the rain until we put together that the resort isn't really cut out for it. There were deep puddles on the walkways, but then they did lay down little runners on the marble floor through the lobby so we didn't slip. They also had umbrellas they were handing out for waiting in the lunch line. Anyhow, it was a cool departure, though now I'm terrified Jill will come and it will rain that whole week - but she assured me, "honey, I've got books....and naps....and more naps...." high-5 for my low-maintenance girlfriend!

Posture clinic in the afternoon was fine - I did well on my Half-Tortoise but did not do the Camel I'd hoped. Still it was fine. Then it was time for 5 p.m. class.
Some people who have a shit class in the morning scare themselves about the 5 p.m. class. yIt's hard after a rough class to recover their energy, and easy to feel stuck in a cycle or are anxious about it becoming a cycle. On the whole, I'm an afternoon girl, so often, I'm excited for another go at it in the afternoon! I love afternoon class at home, and find here that those are by far my better classes. In a way, going twice a day is brilliant! You never have to go very long after a "bad" class before you have the chance for a good one - and luckily, though it was ultra-steamy - I was around good, energetic peeps and had a great class. I limited my water but still struggled - found a couple very infantile-feeling moments where I literally wanted to cry because I wanted cold water so bad - but I promised myself and I stuck to it. It's weird how 'young' that place felt to me/feels to me. It's a metaphor for "you can't always get what you want" and well, who likes that concept? Non-attachment. Non-attachment. Non-attachment. Non-attachment. Working on it!

We had a little talk before evening posture clinic with master teacher/Hare Krishna Joel, from Philly. He spoke for a while about being determined and using your mind to decide what you want/don't want. He told a few stories relating to the Gita, and answered questions about postures.

In other news, I have a rash. And the runs. And let me tell you, if you wait until the middle of Week 7 to have your ailments, no one cares. No one sympathizes and no one is very supportive. They all just say, "oh, I had that rash 4 times already..." or "it's not that bad" or "did you try (xyz)???" Well, I'm here to say whenever you run into physical difficulties here, it sucks, but you do just carry on! I'm sure I'll be fine, but I'm annoyed by these afflictions if nothing else. How does one practice non-attachment to one's diarrhea, I ask??? ;)

pix: Rainy day, Class #67 (hot!); Class #68; Joel.




1 comment:

heidi jo. said...

thanks for including the bit about water, and your constant mantra of non-attachment! i have never personally done a class without water, and i need to practice some non-attachment to it, i think! you are very inspirational, and i am so excited for you- only a couple weeks left! i am just opening the gate to the path to training, and can only hope as many people take interest in it as they do yours! you are a superstar, missy.
-heidijo
www.heidi-jo.blogspot.com