Day 44: Monday...

Really, that is about all there is to say. Monday. Nothing riveting, nothing earth-shattering. Just a Monday. But I couldn't just post that, now could I?

Morning class was taught by a spunky, pregnant woman named Jessica from NYC. She was great - a lot of the visiting teachers just, well, blend together at this point. There are a couple that stood out as horrible, and a couple that have been noteworthy. Most are just good, solid, Bikram teachers. And that's fine. Afternoon class was another New Yorker, from Brooklyn, Claudia. She was good too. Both of them were tough and bossy, but in that oh-so-good-Bikram way. No complaints.

Today I was in Rows 9-12, the back of the room. I actually took the last row (12, for students, but there are 14 total) because there is a little air there. I found myself drinking a lot of water but not until late in the floor series. I have again been working on water intake. Zeb was next to me and gave me a little "psst!" once and I put it down. I talked to him afterwards and he suggested this: Choose when you will drink before class, up to 5 times but no more.

I thought this to be a great idea. I took it a step further in my mind: Make it like it's part of the posture, that is to say, you have no choice. You wouldn't bust out a Crow or something in a Bikram class, right? You wouldn't do a posture that didn't belong, right? So you wouldn't drink water unless it was part of the class. So I'm going to give it a whirl tomorrow. What's funny is I do have plenty of classes where I drink at the appropriate times:

• Party Time (after Eagle, and yes, "Party Time" is part of the dialogue!)
• Once either after Balancing Stick or before Triangle (Bikram offers this one up a lot)
• At the Savasana
• "Aqua-sana" (that's what they call it here in Mexico! I find this hilarious every time...) - after spine strengthening as you settle into Fixed Firm
• And sometimes as we get into final stretching, after Rabbit.

That's 5, and that's acceptable and very often what I do. But I so profoundly disappoint myself when I drink too much water - particularly when I'm having a good class! What is that about!?!? It is a similar feeling to when I used to overeat - I'd feel totally full, but I'd be enjoying the food so much I'd just keep going and going. I feel like this with the water sometimes, and I realize it's a bigger metaphor for life. We all seek comfort, at times of distress of course - but I think for me, I do it when I'm feeling good too and that is (what Craig would call) a pattern, one that I serve vs. the pattern serving me. Again, it's not every class, but whenever I'm feeling down, sad, vulnerable, in pain physically or emotionally I realize I reach for my virtual jug of icy lime water goodness.

Obviously it's a bigger life topic that bears some pondering...but for now, I'm going to work on the iconic angle by trying to question the water and fight it when it's inappropriate. It's not always this way (have I said that enough??) but it reminds me in a way of dieting in the past - I'd do great for days and then blow it, feel terrible about myself, get back on the wagon, do great for days and then blow it, feel terrible...etc. It's a familiar feeling and not a good feeling. And no water is not an option either (i.e., nor was starving myself in the past) - nothing extreme really ever pans out in life, or so I've found. So, I'm going for balance, moderation, and mostly finding a pattern that serves me vs. one that I'm serving! Learning more here everyday....

Special to all you readers coming to Fall 2008 training: I will tell you one secret if you promise me on thing. START LEARNING YOUR DIALOGUE NOW. Now. I'm not kidding. Do not wait. Do one posture a week. Once you get a few into it, it will be much easier! You will still have to re-learn it here and be part of the crazy minutiae that is group dynamic, but you will be confident, get better feedback, be able to help ('start teaching') others, and frankly, stress less and sleep more. Ok, now that I know you've promised me, I will tell you this: Rows 6 & 7. They are the glorious rows. For the first class especially, get there early, go to Row 7, plop down directly underneath one of the air vents in the ceiling. Just do it. The first class is so rough, it's such a different environment. The vents save. Row 12 isn't bad either. Today I'm in rows 1-3, i.e., suffocation central. Oy.
---
Pix: Classes #65 & #66; posture clinic, oh my! Joshua's half-tortoise, and the batch of proctors, including Craig who slinked in room unnoticed by yours truly.