Monday, May 26, 2008

Day 51: Monday, Monday....

It's getting close to graduation - today we had to fill out how many guest we were going to have so they can prepare! However, things 'round here are getting a little more serious in terms of decisions around who gets to graduate. Scary prospect that after going through all this, it's 100% Bikram's discretion whether or not you get the certificate.

One night last week, we had to sign out after a late-night Bikram lecture as the number of people signed in did not correlate to the number of butts in seats. Turned out 6 people had signed in and left. A lot of us were really kinda miffed, because we are all doing this thing that is hard in a fair and honest way; in this case, at 12:30 a.m. we had to stand in a line of 275 people to sign out. Lame. There was no formal punishment it turned out, but they are all now being watched like hawks. No one will try that again.

Another phenomenon that took hold last week was the "mosh pit" in the yoga room in front of the podium. To graduate, you have to have a strong practice, so anyone who has been struggling with their postures in a significant way, or with their stamina, (or who have a bad attitude...) have been put up there "until further notice". There is some good in it: Bikram has the podium air conditioned so apparently there is nice air flow!

Those stuggling with dialogue were put onto the proverbial "short bus" and made to do a posture in front of Bikram. He gave feedback, and each was told their graduation was on the chopping block. They won't know if they are going to graduate until closer to the actual date. Mmmm. Uncertainty! What a fun addition to an already tenuous environment. Needless to say, we all feel for those in these groups. If you don't graduate here, apparently a certificate will just show up in the mail in 6 months time. That would suck.

Luckily I am not in any of the aforementioned groups. And, honestly, many (most) of who are acknowledge their need to be. So that part makes it better, still, there are a few people who are like "what the hell?? I don't get it...."

My piece for the talent show got approved!!!!!! I had to make a very, very few edits which I am totally ok with. I did a rehearsal of it for the other participants of the talent show and it went over well, so my fears of being lame are abetted - though, I still may end up looking like a bit of an ass, but that's always a risk when you put yourself out there!

Today's morning class was better for me than the afternoon. I was in the dreaded "up front" rows 1-3 and though I did ok, it was no picnic. Just tried to stay in the moment and be glad it was over. I was just noticing that my stomach wasn't sucked in during Pranayama when Birkram said, "You, Your fat stomach sticking out, it's supposed to be sucked in. What are you, pregnant?? I HATE LAZY PEOPLE." And then when on and on. You just let these things roll off you though, or else you'd feel bad all the time. I was struggling to catch my breath for some reason and just hadn't quite gotten my form together, and so I got it together and just moved on. Just the way it is sometimes!

Bikram talked tonight about the body, mind, and spirit connection. I was beat though, and admit to not getting a whole lot out of it since I was trying to keep awake. We got done early too at 11:45 or so! Exciting!

Pix: The roof of the yoga room above; Class #76 & #77; Bikram.


allison said...

you are such an inspiration! i am continually impressed by your wise words and strength-

digdeeper said...

I have to tell you that reading this post - pissed me off - its so unnecessary for Bikram to go off on you -

knowing you - you will defend him - and I know that you will never do pranayama without a sucked in stomach again - hurt ME when I read it - I know, I know, don't let anyone (including Bikram) steal your peace -

but...I don't understand - it feels like a spoiled child - or an overindulged rockstar - saying and doing whatever he wants without regard for the feelings of others

"I'm Bikram, I don't care, I don't have to and my
opinion is the only one that matters" - seems
rather un- yogi-like - but then so much about him seems un-yogi-like that I should know better than to be outraged and as you said "let it roll off" -

I give you mad props for your ability to comfort yourself and move on - you are anything but lazy
and continue daily to make contributions beyond what you will ever know - robin

mp said...

oh my gosh! all i have to say is no matter how bad i look when i take your classes in seattle, please don't tell me i look pregnant even though i am a bit fluffy!