Monday, April 28, 2008

Day 23: Rough Monday.

Rough Monday.

Today was just hard. We all sit around here and, as I’ve mentioned, try to figure out why we feel this or that, why something hurts, why our skin is sloughing…even why we’re pooping funny. Fact is, there is no answer. After having a near-flawless (save for the first 2 or 3 days) time, today I had a rough day. Still, in comparison to many, it wasn’t that bad at all – but in comparison to my experience so far, it was the worst day since the start.

My morning practice was rough. I can’t remember how, it was just eternal and I felt anxious and antsy – it was Diane teaching, whom I love too! And that was the only saving grace actually, when I saw here get up on the podium, I was like “Oh, thank God, that’s something anyhow…” the afternoon class, though, was taught by an older guy, Charlie, who told us his story during and in between postures. The class was relatively on time, but it felt so long…and though his story was interesting, I just wanted it to be over. I started to cry around wind-removing and struggled with that until sometime around camel. I was just so hot, that unbearable Bikram hot, which is not about the room , but about my body. Cobra and post-nasal drip to not mix, folks.

Raj, this cool Brit of Indian descent, was next to me and just reached over and put a handful of ice in my hand in between postures at one point. I think that ice saved me. Class started out badly in that I was rushing (for no good reason, really, as I was as usual nearly ½ hour early) and I forgot my Orange Tower’o’Shame, full of icy lime goodness. I bought a water at the studio, which was warm, and had a small bottle with me. I was just sooooooooo hot, and then having only warm water to drink was just insult to injury, or so it felt.

I did put together that overall, I seem to be on a hearty tour of PMS-ville, which explains my stupid-level of near-passing out sleepiness, food cravings, the 3-month pregnant look I’m sporting on my abdomen, and, my er, emotional sensitivity (manifesting as both tears and irritation). At some point, I put this together and Jill confirmed based on my overall stories, “Oh honey, you are sooooo PMS’y.” Yeah. Always helps to understand something, now could we could get that show on the road, please, body? I’d like to be happy healthy Jenn again.

Craig talked today about the Yoga Truck. That it comes from behind, hits you, and when you stand up, it backs up with double force and knocks you down again, only to wham you once or twice more before heading on to the next unsuspecting yogi. I don’t think the Mack Truck version of the Yoga Truck (I think of it as the Grim Reaper of yoga) is here for me, but still, perhaps the Pickup version had a little go at me.

Couple logistics for today – Craig talked about Eagle and Standing Head to Knee tonight. It was interesting as always and I asked a few questions afterwards. I am newly inspired to try to do the posture the right way (a mantra here “do it the right way. Do it the right way…”) as he explains things in a way that seems very…applicable. Posture clinics were on to these two postures as well – I did my Standing Head to Knee, and when I got up, I looked up and Craig had appeared. Oy!!!!! I was secretly super excited to get his feedback and prayed for a respectable performance – which I gave! This one went great for me, after the last two postures had mess-ups. My feedback was totally good and fair, so I will keep working on it. Standing Bow, here I come!

And if you’ve read this far, you get a little treat. This morning, Christian woke up and said, “Jenn, I woke up standing next to my bed at 3:30 a.m. in Eagle. I was so worried because you were sleeping through the posture.” Seriously, he was not only sleep walking, but sleep YOGA-ing! Hilarious. Ah, the yoga dreams begin. Stay tuned!

Class #32, happy to have survived; Todd does Eagle dialogue; an honest reflection of class #33....I had a posed happy one, but really, truth is better...even if it is a little vulnerable for me.


Julia said...

On to Tuesday you gooooo!!! The yoga truck delivery already came and went so you should be all set. ;)

You are doing great! xoxo hooliewho

Carola said...

truth is ALWAYS best. it's real and makes everything real! much appreciated! certainly still inspiring me more and mroe for sept! keep it up!

ps. the yoga truck hit me a few days ago too (in south georgia), it sure does get some milage! :)

Shannon O'Leary said...

Dear Jenn, I've been avidly reading your blog for a few weeks. I look forward to reading your post each day. I am new to Bikram, but already can see that it can be a rollercoaster ride. Thank you for writing so honestly and your experiences. You are kicking some serious butt, and you have support from friends you've never even met! One day at a time.
Shannon in Oregon

MoYogi said...

hey, I miss you old neighbor!

ps- not only are we both getting hit by the yoga truck, and i believe it's a f***ing semi, but we are also in pmsville together!

just remember what Diane said, "Just Breathe. everything else is optional"

Steph said...

Hey Jenn

I practice Bikram down here in New Zealand and the Yogi Truck makes its way here too! And yes, it leaves me in tears at times as well.

Hopefully we can draw some comfort in the fact that it travels worldwide. :-)


AmyPinSeattle said...

Wow...your last picture is pretty intense girl! Make sure your getting enough B12...

Of course, the logical side must ask...why was your water warm? I think with everything you're going through, add PMS on top of DESERVE icy cold water - LOTS OF IT!

So make sure you get your water cold for tomorrow girl!