Whirling Nerves

I'm finding that my belly is a bucket of nerves. It's the same feeling I've had in the past few years before big life changes - my weight loss surgery, plastic surgery. leaving my job...all that same "oh-my-gawd-i'm-so-excited-at-the-same-time-may-i-please-run-away?" feeling.

Lately, I've been rattling on to anyone who will listen about the fact that I'm stressed, but trying to also impart how I'm also anxious and excited! It's all under control, but inside, my gut knows whats coming. And soon. This morning I was like "Jill, my shoulders are KILLING me! I think it's because I'm kicking out in second set Standing-Head-To-Knee, and I'm bending my elbows down and it's a lot of tension in my shoulders...."

She said, "Um, no, honey, you are stressed."

Duh! I didn't even think of that. It's like those times where (as a woman, anyhow) you look over a few days and say "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" because you got your period which explained your crankiness, tiredness, aches... but it didn't even occur to you when it was happening. So I am stressed, and it's ok. I'm trying to be all yogic about it - it's a moment, it's just time and it will pass and move along and I won't be in this place for long. Really.

Practice has been good lately! I got a bunch (re: Could've fed a small village in Africa for 2 months) of LuluLemon fit'outs the other day. My gawd are they cute; my gawd were they 'spensive! But, honestly, I've been all excited to wear my new things I can't wait to go to yoga everyday (though I think I'm through them all now, so that joy will expire shortly...alas.) But, I've had some really nice, challenging practices and not too many brutal ones. My teachers (who all know I'm going to training) have been very attentive and generous in their corrections, and I've felt some "ah-ha!" moments in a few postures.

For one, ok - others in training will get this - there is a line that says, "Right shoulder forward, open your chest like a flower petal blooming." No shit. That's the dialogue. No one I've ever been to says that; but, it's in the 1st side of 1/2 Moon - and you know what, the other day I tried it. I was well into the posture, leaning to the right, and I always try to correct my hips and shoulders (don't we all?) and I thought, "open your chest like a flower opening Jenn" and honestly, *I went to a whole new place* in the posture. I was actually in a straight line, or, well, moreso than ever before! So while some of the dialogue is hokey, honestly, some of it in practice makes more sense than one would think.

Secondly, I shortened up my step in Triangle. Why this never occurred to me I don't know. But not that I'm some triangle-machine or anything, but it's looking MUCH more like the pictures :) I've also recommitted to my Balancing Stick, and Rabbit. Not that I didn't like those two, I just had gotten lazy in them I think.

On the other hand, Christian and I are dialogue machines. Now that I'm over pneumonia, and he's over his horrible cold, we have a mere week to practice dialogue together. We've got Half Moon (right side) nailed - this is the only one you do for Bikram himself in front of all 300 people. We're also both pretty much good with Half Moon Backwards. He's way ahead of me on Hands-to-Feet, but I'm working on it! We have a private session scheduled with Saiko on Thursday, and she wants us both to be able to do up through the 1st part of Awkward; and Christian wants us up through Eagle by the day we start. That's the first 1/2 hour of the class (minus breathing, which you do very last).

More to come! Everybody together, feet together at the line, heels and toes touching each other. Arms over the head sideways, palms together....... :)

p.s. I further updated the packing list! Added bug spray and Thermometer based on my Facebook pal Leslie's suggestion that some mosquitos there transmit fevers and malaria. Good times!